Fingers Crossed by D (LetArtBe) on Flickr
Update: December 28, 2008
Coming to the close of the year, I have taken it upon myself to review the things that have worked and/or failed in an attempt to progress and become a "New and Improved" person...in whatever meaning of the phrase.
Several months ago, I tried to go online in order to better my seemingly slim chances at finding someone to hang out with...let alone with the hope of finding anything more involved than that. I realized at some point over the summer (and many seasons before that) that the guys I knew, or had access to, would not make the first move, and I was too afraid to move for them. And I can only take so many "I have a guy for you..." or "You should get set up with..." only to wait, and wait, and wait...for these "quotation marks" to make the said set up. So, I ended up doubting the viability of these people's claims of having "the guy for me."
So, online I went! Shy little me...who can't really talk to guys in the real world, thought it would be easier in cyberspace...I say until that, Shah! The closest I got to anything remotely intriguing was a guy in Utah...I will call him "Skydiving S." Although he lived in Utah...(not exactly close enough from an impromptu get together)...our online "relationship" created a portal for great conversations and a way in which I could allow my heart to be placed in a vulnerable position and in the way of otherwise unknown dangers. I had previously been told (and previously mentioned in my note entitled: "Soon to Be Spring At BYU-I") that "sometimes we need to put our heart out in the middle of the highway and let it get run over a few times before it will stick to a tire." Going online was my less graphic way of putting my heart on the highway.
Unfortunately for this metaphor, I believe that after I put my heart out there, it continued to cringe and roll up in the fetal position at every passing motorist.
android.hameandinfancy.com
The "relationship" of Skydiving S. and myself lasted less than two months...initially giving my schoolgirl heart the hope of something more. This was especially due to his typing of sweet nothings into my proverbial cyberspace ears. Slowly...(and yet seemingly quickly), I must have scared the poor guy off, because after a few weeks of no reply (his previous response-time was every other day or so), I realized that it was not going any further....dang, ‘cuz the kid was hot! But I digress. Although I got no formal, "Thanks, but No Thanks," it hurt all the same.
Back to the drawing board! My less than happy experience online was only compounded by the countless peaks in the "Creep-o Richter Scale" and the several "not quite there" thoughts due to the ideals that I had in my head. I mean, come on, it is easier to say that you are too picky, than to realize that guys just "aren't that into you."
So, I gave myself three months (as suggested by websites, and online dating books everywhere to "give it a chance!") but ended up bored and not wanting to spend the money on it anymore. During the allotted three months, I went searching, and tried to find that "Certain Someone." However, all I found was that out of all the people out there, there seemed to be none in my neck of the woods. I gave the online thing a chance...maybe now was just not the right time for the universe to align my social life with my keyboard. Maybe it just takes a little more cosmic shifting or just plain patience on my part.On the bright side, I did however, find great material for my new book, soon to be on bookshelves near you :)
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